I have been thinking and wondering why I don't have the peace that seems to intrude on my mind, but not stay as long as I would like. Then it hit me. I am not trusting. That is not a surprise to me. I have hope, but trust sometimes elludes me. Maybe it's because I am an American and I just want cowboy it out. I love the image of the cowboy and I think it really embodies many of the American ideals: self reliance, wide open spaces, freedom in thought, life on our own terms, hard working, life in extreme, etc. I love the cowboy image, but he's not great trusting everything is going to work out just fine unless he does his work. Now, there is a fine line between trusting in things being just fine and waiting to be rescued. Maybe here is where I have gone wrong. Perhaps, I have not looked deeper at him. He must rely on nature and trust that he can get his herd to market. He must believe otherwise or why would he even try? It's a dangerous life. There are not too many things that he can be sure of, yet he believes he can get his cattle where they need to go. I find myself in a similar situation. I am not on the range, but I have this crazy plan to move my family to another country. I believe it is very possible and I want to do it with all my heart. Sometimes, however, I feel like I am on the open plain in a down pour. My father once told me that all I had to do was what was in front of me. Maybe that is true. Maybe first things are first. Maybe this crazy plan will work out it if I trust that the plan is a good one and remember why we have made this decision.
No comments:
Post a Comment