Freedom

Freedom. I feel free today. I feel freer today because I saw something in my life that was not right and was able to let go of it in love. Freedom for me is a process, and might be for most of us who don't know what binds us. When I see something in my life that is hurting me and those around me, I thank God that I am able to let go of it. Sometime, often times, I need the help of someone near to me that I trust to help me see it and then let it go. Freedom means forgiveness, love and responsibility for actions taken in the past. I love freedom and desire that all can live in freedom.

Loss

The loss of a loved one leaves a hole in the heart their particular shape and size. Even though their memory lives on, the loss of their living energy shocks us. Death is not a wonderful thing at all. It may be part of the process, but it is not a wonderful thing. Memory Eternal.

Natural Life

I think one day science will prove that we are more connected to each other than we have any idea we are. I think we live in the world connected to each other in what we do and do not do. It's like the butterfly effect, only I think our connectedness speaks to the fact that we are of the same stuff. Our disconnectedness or feeling of disconnectedness speaks to the fact that we are not living natural lives as we were created to live. I am not speaking of "progress". I am speaking of love. When we mislove or delove or unlove, we are not natural and we create pain and suffering all around us. The other side is true. When we love, and love freely, we heal and are healed and we live natural lives. Love connects us in a circle of love. Love the one next to you and save the world.

Maybe the Nuts and Bolts of Love

I've been photographing my father's garden this summer. He's been gone a year, but his energies can still be felt in the work he did here. I never intended to do this project, but here I am doing what is in front of me to do.

I've been working on other things. One of the last conversations I had with Dad. He told me that one of his friends who was dying told him love was all there really was.

I've been thinking a lot about the nature of the human being. I know that as a human we tend towards things that leads us to death. I am well aware of my own tendencies. I fear that once we as a culture lose the idea that we are all created in the image and likeness, or are children of God, we might tend towards enslaving others at a break-neck speed. Once we forget that the one next to us is like a mini visitation of the divine in our lives, we tend to treat him as our slave, and we as the king. This is just not logical. We are of the same stuff, you and I. We are all brothers and sister to each other, no matter what our genetic backgrounds. The truth is there is but one race, the human race. The fact of the matter is that we should treat our neighbor as the king, divine person, and we as the slave or servant. I think this might just keep us honest, and away from those things which leads to death. This might just be the nuts and bolts of what it means to love.

Nature and Things

I've been thinking about this image all day. It's a sensual image. I just think it's beautiful. I have always thought how interesting it is when we can see our human selves in other forms of nature or the other way around. Curious how we are all connected to the same creation, and how we reflect it in different ways. We, in our natural state, are so much a part of the cycle of this creation. I think often we kick against it and desire to be what we are not, or who we are not and in this way damage those around us.

Love

We are here to love the one we are with at all times. That is all. We are here to love the one who is given to us as a gift in the moment. I am not talking about anything sexual. I am talking about what it means to be fully human. We are here to love. Love means taking care of those who can't take care of themselves. It means cleaning up a mess with someone when you had nothing to do with the mess. Love means when someone we know needs us at 3 in the morning we don't ignore the phone call, we go to them, and comfort them. Love means setting the table for one or two more on a day which has been set aside for family. It means opening your home to a child in need. It means visiting someone who no one wants to see. In a nutshell, love means giving the other what they need in the moment they need it especially when we just don't want to. We do it because they need something, and we can give it. Love is the most powerful thing we can do at any one moment. Love can save a life and change the world in a moment. We are created to love. We are created to do big things. Love of other and all is the most powerful thing we all can do right now.

I love this tree. It looks like it is dancing. It looks like it has played with the sun and has grown accordingly. This tree has grown naturally and in great beauty as it was created to grow and that is why I love this tree. I love trees because of the individual growth patterns of each tree. They are not symmetrical in any sense in that is the power of their beauty. I think we are like trees in that when we grow according to how we were created to grow and when we grow naturally, and in truth, we are the most beautiful and perfect.

Transition, birthing. How does one bring a new "thing" into reality? Dose the effort exerted have anything to do with that which is becoming? Do we remember the things more and clearer that took great effort or pain? I think the thing that takes effort or sometimes just pain, lives on in our being long after the event. These things take on significance in our lives. I am not saying that these things are arbitrary or random. Mostly, I think we create and or draw things into our lives. I personally find it hard to imagine my life without these significant events, any of them. I can sometimes feel the changing tide of change that can happen in an instant, but leaves long lasting effects, and often tragic effects, effects that can not be put back to the before event. I think of the image a school child drew of The Towers Falling in NY, and he's looking up at the towers, a plane is flying and the boy is saying, "Stop!". It can't stop. Some events can't stop, and the after effects are lasting change. Now, sometimes these changes are sweet and beautiful. The birth of your own child is like this so much. In the transition from pregnant into birth is often filled with all kinds of events that are not pleasant, but once you hold the new person in your arms it is all worth it, and a new life has entered into your own. In the garden, my father, and grandmother both taught me that sometimes it is better for the plant to not flower because of the energy given in the process can be too much for the plant, and so it is better to remove the bud to allow the plant to grow until it can fully take on that kind of effort to produce a flower, and then maybe a fruit. Maybe sometimes transitions do not happen until we are ready to take on the new life that is to come after the event. Maybe sometimes we can allow them to happen when we are ready, but not always. Last night I was musing on how we have lost our fear, or concern over child birth. Not so long ago, childbirth was a chancy thing. You did not always come out alive. I know I would not be writing this if it were not for modern medicine. I think a lot of us do not even consider these small births that happen all the time in our lives, and I think we have lost the wonder and gift of the other side. New life happens around us everyday. Celebrate the creative power of the changes, the life altering changes that lead to newness of life. The road is not easy that we follow, but often it is interesting.

I don't always start with a photo, but this time I have. I love this photo and the use of light and dark. It is an image of hope to me that in the darkness, there is light.

Last week, I went out with a photographer friend of mine, the same man who did my very beautiful professional shots of my work. We went to the same places and took dramatically different shots. As humans, we go to the same places, go through same events and come out with completely different experiences. I find this fascinating. We are all the same, as we are all human. We are all of the same stuff, but different persons, visions and words. Somehow we can connect to each other. Maybe we do this through our humanity. The mystery of humanity. What makes us a human, and what makes our different views connect with others? All I know is that we are of the same stuff. There is only one race, and that is the human race, but each of us holds a gift to share with others and give light in this darkened world.

Feeling Fine.

For the first time since the last time I blogged, I feel almost perfectly fine. I have been battling a terrible virus, and now think things are back to were I can work like I like to work. Energy is back and my mind feels focused again. I hate being sick. I know that probably I should accept it and take it as a time to reflect and create in other ways, but I always find that I fight against the illness. I hate the weakness that comes with it because I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it. Anyway, I have taken more time to reflect than I normally would. I have stopped because I had to. I wonder what I have learned from this, maybe only time will tell....

True Self.

On Sunday, I was feeling not myself and all around just not good. I took up my camera and took pictures. I felt better and full of energy. Today, I felt just awful with a cold, but took up clay, designed some beads and made small bowls. Things became clearer and I felt very good. What I want to say, is that when I am alined with my true self, things are so much better.

Recieve the Light

Receive the light that night can not overtake.

The light that is never overtaken by darkness is the power of God in our lives. It is both macro and micro. The light is there for all and for each of us individually. The divine light that shines in the soul is there waiting for us to blossom forth.

I am an Orthodox Christian, and have come through Holy Week and Pascha, so my mind is swimming with images and words of light, life and hope.

I am always struck by how the hymns of the Church juxtapose the death on the cross with the hope of the Resurrection. "Show us also Thy holy Resurrection." These images are so closely displayed that they are hard to separate, and maybe there is some truth I have yet to discover in that. I am sure of that. I think it goes beyond the not wanting us to remain too long in the death. We love the cross. We always are kissing the cross, so I think there is something deeper here. Maybe I will uncover it when I am 50. Maybe sooner.

What I want to talk about is the impossible. How can a tomb give life? How can this be possible? I don't know. What I do know and believe is that the impossible is possible. I believe that when we are doing what we are created to do, we are life giving. Life sprouts around us. When we let our egos die, maybe even a little bit, life comes to us. When we let go of that part of us that is full of fear and death, life grows. This is small news. News that can help us move in out daily lives.

This is not to say that this is the message of the Resurrection of Christ. That is a huge message. It is the best news of all time. ALL are welcomed in the feast. We are All members of each other. All are brothers together. Big News. We are all made of the same "stuff" and are united together. The ancient truth is revealed. We are all in this together. This is news that changes everything.

Dreams

Dreams. For a long time I imagined that someone could just take my dream by saying they were no interested in my dream. I imagined that someone had the power to take my dream. No one has that power! I discovered that the dream is mine and the path is mine to take. The obstacles are there always and are there sometimes for lack of traveling that path. They only test my resolve and add interest to the path. Our dreams belong to the dreamer. Sometimes others dream with you and sometimes these dreams are joined in certain ways to make the other dream a reality, but the dream is ours, and I believe given by God. Listen to that small voice in your head or heart when someone asks you what you really want to do with your life. That voice knows your heart well. Seek it out. Find the path. Never imagine the dream can be taken away. It can not, unless you will that to happen. I have kept my dream alive in a small part of my heart, and always went back to it and now I see this is the path I want more than ideas of what I could do with my life. Dreams are always more fruitful than mere ideas of what could be. Dreams are about what the heart yearns for and desires for its sustenance. Make a move towards your dream, however small. Keep making moves towards the dream and the path will become clearer and known. Living with the dream and towards the dream will be a great adventure in learning about who you are and who those are arround you that share the path with you.

Movement Toward the New Desire

At this point in the process of this thing called life, I have noticed that when I know what I really want, obstacles show up. Yesterday was the day of obstacles and barrier jumping, many of them physical. I wonder if when you move in the direction that you have always wanted to move, these barriers and obstacles have always been there, but now they are apparent, or are they there because we need to know if this really is what our hearts desire is? Maybe it's like babies and children when the first want to move and get from one place to the other, they try and try different modes until something works. Maybe when we move in a new direction and barriers and obstacles come up, they are there because we have not yet learned to move in that particular way. I think that is most of it, but somehow I think there might be more to it. Maybe the universe just is used to a particular movement and our changing modes upsets things until we have established that mode as our normal modes. There might be some truth in that. What I know is that changing modes is really not for the faint of heart. Even when you know, like you know, like you really know what it is what you want, much effort it takes to make the first few movements toward the goal.

I chose this image because I love this little bottle so much. No other reason.

Change

So many things are moving these days. I am spending today applying to galleries and shows. My workshop ideas are moving along too, and with any luck and positive work, things should happen in ways I can't even imagine now. Life is good, very good!

The Pearl Company

http://thepearlcompany.ca/

This is one of the pieces at The Pearl Company 16 Steven Street Hamilton ON. I recommend anyone who can to check them out. Lots of stuff happens at The Pearl Company, and something is bound to interest you. Yesterday afternoon, I met with Barbara Milne who accepted some of my work for her gallery shop. As someone new on the art scene, this is huge for me. I have dreamed about this for a long time, and know it is the beginning of my work out in the public eye. I say go for what you know you want. Work it out the way it comes to you. We are not alone in the universe and sometimes connections take us where we want to be, other times the inner voice points us out to where we need to be. Since my father's fall and death last year, I put more stock into that inner voice. I do believe we all know what we need to be doing, we just need to strike out and do it.

Today

I'm off today to go to The Pearl and show my stuff. I am so excited about it, and am having trouble picking what to bring. I love my stuff so much. Life is good!

How I Work

This is a detail of one of my bowls. I love the texture of this piece. Each time I strike or punch or touch the clay, the clay records that. It tells the story of its own creation. Each event in our lives adds to the story of who we are, who we were and who we are becoming. Each time the clay worked, the story of its creation is told, but the story changes until the creator says this is what I am talking about, this is the word I am trying to say, this is the end of this story. As artist, we often work in series, working on concepts we wish to express until we know that we are done saying this story, writing this poem, and singing the song we want to sing. I suppose it's like a writer writing in drafts, until it is done. Sometimes writers work in series because what they want to say is so large and long that it takes awhile to say it. I think we work that way in our own lives, creating our own story, reworking it until we want to move on to the next story. Each morning we wake up as a new person, having a new thing to express, having taken with us what ever experience we choose to take with us to the next part of our story. We can let go of things and hold on to others just as I keep or remove a mark in my piece until I know it is what I want to say.

What We Want

What if what we want isn't riches after all?
What if it's a life of peace and joy?
What then?
What does that make us?
What if our deepest and most desperate desires of our hearts are indeed love of neighbor?
What would the world be like then?

I don't know, but I'd like to find out.

Listening and Creating

I have found that when I relax and let things happen, unfold, that life is better for me. When I try to assert my will on a situation, as tempting as it always is, my life is harder. It is that way with making art. When I let go of the process, and listen to what I call the back of my head, the piece works. When I go into a "meditative" mode in making, my art is so much better. I still consider everything, I just listen to the piece in a different way. When I have conceived a work in my head in its completeness it is as if it has already been formed and done. I can no longer create it, if I try it falls apart. If I let go of a concept and let it "live" its life as it were, I can then create it. I have to listen to the process, and clay for my pieces to work. When I impose my will on them, the do not work. I find that is true with the rest of my life. When I let go and let things go along a natural path, my life is good. When I make things up in my head the way they should me, things don't go as well for me. I find I have to listen, or read my life and live that way rather than creating it all in my head first.

Raku Vessel

I love this little vessel. When I look over the shapes of my work, this is one that I make the most. My professor used to talk about the clay speaking to us and this shape is a word or thought that I seem to like a lot. My hand built vessels are figurative in nature. I started sculpting in clay when I first started using clay. Most if not all of my vessels are about the human being. I look at this vessel and think, that looks like me.

I don't like lots of glaze. In fact, I like to have thin layers of glaze and wipe it off, so that I can have a distressed look. I don't like it too shiny, shiny. I like the rough look, like it came out of the earth.

The Raku process really speaks to me because the process is quick, and you never know what you are going to get. You can set up the conditions to be one way, and then the conditions of the kiln, or the combustibles or the time before you put the piece in the combustibles can change the way the piece looks, and even impose itself on the piece in a way you could never predict. Raku is like life, you can plan all you want, and probably should, but in the end you get what you get.

Gifts

Today, I am looking at making submissions to vaious places to show my work. I have never done this before, so it is a new adventure for me. This is where the rubber meets the road and where I have to practice what I say I believe. Abba Poemen once said that we need to teach our mouths to say what is in our hearts. I believe that, I also believe that faith without works is dead. Someone else said that. With these two words in my head and heart, I move forward. I believe that we are each created with at least one very good gift to share and transfigure the world we live in. I say at least one, because I think we are given more gifts than we know, but each gift can be used to make the world a place of joy. I am too old to keep my gifts to myself, and must share them. For me it's a moral issue. I can't keep creating and stock piling my work. It's just not right. I can't keep my other gifts to myself either, and so I am developing my workshops. I see art as a doorway to the soul. Be at peace, find your joy and share it.

Alley Orchard

This is a strange little image. Again, it is in an alley way in Hamilton. This used to be an orchard, but the man lost it and his home to a bet many, many years ago, and now the orchard is overgrown and in disorder. It's interesting to me that once love stops, things fall apart. I mean things, not just people's relationship, but the things they have. The energy that went into creation or even basic up keep, leaves a place and atrophy sets in and with it comes destruction. Hamilton is filled with alleys and stories. Who would expect an orchard less than three miles from the steel mills? I love the passion of Hamilton. To Canada, Hamilton is this mean steel town, but I have not seen it. Sure, there is crime, and there is pain associated with life in a city, but in Hamilton, I see hope. Once we stop loving our city, our home, this kind of destruction can set in. We can have an orchard or we can have an overgrown lot that produces fruit too small to eat.

This is an alley way by my house. Hamilton has the best alleys. I like walking down them because you never know what you might find. It's finding a new world in your own backyard. I won't lie, there is a element of fear because you never know what you might meet, but that is part of the thrill. I took this picture last Fall when I needed a break from the business plan writing. I needed to think with the other part of my brain, the part I like to think with.

Beauty of Life Cycle

This photo was taken last year in Gage Park. What a treasure Gage Park is for the City of Hamilton. I love the perfection of form this tree has, and the light of that day underpins the color of the trunk in early spring before the buds begin to form. This tree is just awakening from sleep, and has it's full beauty in this time of its cycle. I wish we all could love each stage of our lives and see the beauty of the moment we are in.

Raku Bottle

This little darling is a hand built raku bottle. It is not functional, but I love to hold it. I love raku because the process it random. You can set up all the conditions, and you never know what it will be when it's done.

Seminars and Workshops

Fire and Light Studio is currently working on seminars and workshops for women in the community. Workshops will focus on giving clients a safe place to discover their creative and spiritual power allowing them to explore their own images and symbols. Fire and Light Studio’s workshops are for those seeking change, self-discovery and exploration of a new creative process. These workshops will encourage women to share their knowledge, wisdom and insights as well as learn from others. They will focus on seeing and learning in an experiential creative manner, helping women visualize and convey what they need to express to get to the next level of learning or healing.

The First Post.

Greetings to you all.

This is the first post of Fire and Light Studio.
Fire and Light Studio is open by appointment only right now. We are workingright now with Roloson Creative on a Valentines Day promotion. More details will follow.

Thanks for stoping by.