There's No Justice. There's Just Us

For a week or more I have had this little saying I read in a Canadian women's prison running through my head.  I used to think it was the women acting out and feeling sorry for themselves.  I think it would be easy to do in prison, sometimes I manage to do so without the benefit of being incarcerated.  I have been thinking that there really is not real justice when it comes to humans passing it out.  We are flawed and tend towards wanting to enslave each other in one way or another.  As Christians we hope in the justice of God knowing  it is a justice of love.  Sometimes I wonder if I could handle that.  If we follow Christ, we know that we are here to love each other.  I mean we are to love the person next to us, the one most immediate.  I am not always very good about that.  I tend to love the ones that are easy for me to love.  What I want to do is to love more boldly and love those who I find hard to love.  In that way, the world changes.  I do not believe we can change the world for the better, making people do things they do not want to do just because it makes our lives softer.  In a nutshell, there is not justice, there is just us.  All we have is each other, and we may as well try to love each other more if we want to change the world. 

Connected

This last week, I sat with no fewer than three families who had lost their loved ones.  I am amazed that my work  brings me into contact with people at such tender times in their lives.  On Friday, I led a funeral of a man who served for his country.  I am sorry to say, that while I have access to some of his military record, I had not found the time to read it.  I have no idea where he served to what he did.  What I do know is that the Navy sent out two of her men to attend the funeral and perform the full military honors due him.  I pulled up, and because I was the lead car, I was the first car my car was saluted.  I felt completely unworthy of it, and of course I am.  When have I risked my life for countless many who I do not even know and those yet unborn.  As I got out and waited for him to be carried out of the hearse, I was struck again that while this was a family event, all of us were touched in someway by this man and somehow that makes it a public event.  I stood there and thought of how all of us are connected in ways we do not even know and how we all belong to one another.  Every person is part of our lives in one way or another.  We are the same humanity, and our actions effect the lives of everyone on the planet.  This gives me pause.  I know I am responsible for my actions and I can not even begin to see what they do to those I have not met, and to those yet unborn.  May I keep getting back up, every time I fall.  May I learn to love and serve my brother I have yet to meet.  May my heart open to the possibilities of love. May I be peace.

Love When the Sky is Falling

Ten years have past since that bright Tuesday that changed our lives.  Still, when I look back,  I tremble with the fear and anger I felt when The Towers fell.  I know enough to know that the primary emotion is fear, and then anger follows.  I know that fear is a killer as well as its close buddy anger.  I know also there is no love in fear and anger.  I know that I must always pray for my enemies for they are really my brothers, and if I think about it, they are me.  We are all made of the same stuff, and so are bound together.  Those who drove those airplanes in those buildings were most likely not thinking that we were all  the same.  I suspect they were thinking we were those guys.  This day's memory brings me to that core belief that we are the same, and that we are made to love each other and shakes it like nothing else ever has.  I remember my husband and I afterwards going to the icon corner and saying our prayers.  We made an effort to included prayers for love of enemies because I knew I did not want to.  I struggle with the old man when this day comes.  I know we are all in this together and that we are to love those who even seek to kill us.  Such a tall order for me on a day like this.  I also think of those who loved others and willingly gave their lives so that others might live.  So on a day that has such hatred, fear and anger, I remember also a day filled with love, kindness and bravery to such a degree, I can never get my head around some of it.  May I be more and more like the first responders and go in and love especially when the sky is falling.

Blue Skies

These skies are unbelievable!!!!! 

I have my sweet husband and partner in crime with me.  Our children are in school, and my husband and I  begin to make sure we have the space here for our things.  We have begun our adventure together in the USA.

As my husband said today, it took 45 years to get a Vuyadinov  in America, but it has finally happened.  My father-in-law always wanted his family to live in the US, but chose to live in Canada because David was on the way and it would have taken another year to immigrate to the USA.  Tata wanted his family to live in the New World, so he took his family to Canada since he had an Australian passport, and could live in Canada.  That man had the most powerful dream to live on after his death.  We are doing as he always wanted, and for which he sacrificed.  I loved, love that man and am so honored to fulfill his dream.

It's blue skies.

My Creative Journey to Now

Four years ago, I was stressed out.  Ok, I'm still stressed out, but now I can find happiness.   Four years ago, my father  just had his first brain surgery and I had a six month old baby and a three year old to care for.  I was stressed and I felt like I was not living my life fully.  I had talents I wanted to use, but I was not doing it.  It's hard work being a mother of small boys.  It's the best work I have ever done, but I needed to have time for my own work.  Work that was just about me.  I realized what was missing was my need to create.  Strangely enough I thought I needed photography. I had enjoyed photography in college, but  loved clay.  From that moment, I began to move toward acquiring the things needed to make art.  In a few months, I found a program that taught people how to have their own business and paid them for several months to do that so that they could become self sufficient. For many reasons my ceramic studio did not take off.  I make beautiful ceramic pieces and I still have stock. What learned through that part of the journey is that as a mother, I can't work as a ceramic artist.  I can't devote that time to ceramics and still have time to raise my boys.  What I do now is photography.  I keep learning that the small clear voice we hear in the time of quiet has the right idea. Whatever camera I have with me when I am out with boys become my creative tool.  It's not necessarily the camera, but the eye behind it that creates the image. This image is from my new phone. My blog allows me to write.  I have written since I was six years old.  I have never liked academic writing, but I love to write what is on my mind.  I thank God that I live in a time where I can have a blog. I publish my work, even if it's on a small scale and my audience is limited-it does not matter.  I am living a full life.

August Without My Sweetheart

It's August and that means we have many important dates to celebrate.  I hate being so far from the man I love especially in August, a month filled with anniversaries and birthdays.  David and I started officially dating in August, although we were close friends for a long time and many at seminary thought we were dating long before August.  We celebrate the day we became a couple.  I have never looked back. This year it marks sixteen years together.  He hasever been my companion, one I would always choose to take with me on any and all journeys difficult or otherwise.  He makes me laugh.  Perhaps that is one of the most important qualities I have looked for in a mate.  He has made me laugh in some of the most difficult times we have shared together.  Even when we fight, and yes, we do fight for we are a fiery couple, I never have thought "This is the end."  I know we are just clearing the air.  I feel safe and alive with him.  He is a strong man and a man with vision.  I would choose no other man to be with me through life.  The last day of August will mark our fourteenth wedding anniversary and I expect him to be with me.  He might miss the opening of the month, and maybe my birthday, but I hope to have him with me on that date.

Home Again

So, I am home again.  It's odd what things I have missed.  The first week back, I turned on a classic rock station and my heart sang.  I was hearing good music without government interference.  Hard to explain unless you have ever lived under "Can Con" or Canadian Content where it is the law to have a certain percentage of Canadian Content played.  I believe it's 60%.   At any rate, it hinders free expression and choice.  I have never liked it.  Here, I talk to folks in the grocery store, and my sons asks who these people are.  In Ontario, people don't do that.  I know in other parts of Canada they do.  I also know when I moved to Ontario I had to learn fast that people don't talk to each other.  They keep their own space.  It's different in the US.  I like that about The States.  I feel cozy like were are all in this together. I like the spirit of America where everyone's ideas are important even if you don't agree.  I know in recent years we have become polarized and  I hope this changes.  I hope we can remember that everyone has a right to his or her opinion and that they are not stupid, but they hold different values on different aspects to an issue.  We have had many before us who have fought and died so that we can think and live freely.  Let us remember that.  We have no right to freedom, but it is a gift given to us by our those who came before us and it is our duty to live so that our children can know the same freedom we have enjoyed.